Friday, April 17, 2009

You know you've been in the Middle East too long if..

Above - Local Police in Abu Dhabi patrolling beach front along Corniche'.

Above - Gold leafed coated BMW X6. Known back in Oz as a Wanker. Over here, just another 17 year old local in his new car.
The list below is from a site forward to me from a friend. It is so spot-on when it comes to identifying some of the peculiarities of living in the UAE/Middle East, it was worth re-printing here just a reminder.

You know you've been living in the M.E too long If…….
* You are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat.

* You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative.

* You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah"

* You do not expect to eat dinner before 10:30 pm

* You need a jumper when it's 28c outside.

* Your ideal vacation is anywhere you can eat pork.

* Your idea of housework is leaving a list for he maid.

* You believe the speed limits are only advisory.

* You have no problem with tractors driving 40 kph on the highway.

* You think all police drive BMWs and Mercedes Benz'.

* You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iran.

* You get excited and spread the news when "Weetbix" show up at the grocery store.

* You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign.

* You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first.

* You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green.

* You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks.

* You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn.

* You can receive ever TV station crystal clear except the local one.

* You get used to using the cold tap to get hot water during the summer.

* You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought.

* You expect gold for every birthday.

* You drive out of the Emirates and into Oman to get cheaper gas even though gas costs nothing.

* You get in heated arguments about your favourite Sheiks, Emir or King.

* You think Pepsi begins with a "B".

* You think it is perfectly normal that your neighbour has 2 Ferrari's and a Hummer and never works.

* You did the calculations and you could have that Ferrari except your water bill from your garden, yard, just got raised again.

* You think that a box of Kleenex belongs on every dinner table.

* You think water only comes in bottles.

* You understand that when someone says "burka, insha'allah" to you it really means "sometime during this calendar year…if you are lucky.

* You feel comfortable overtaking a police car at 160km/hour in a 100km/h section, while talking on your mobile and resting your foot on the dash board.

* You take 2 shorts to work during summer, knowing both will be soaking in sweat just walking from your car to the office.

* You can stand you ground when a local pushes directly to the front of any queue.