Maldives Perfection

Above - The Kethi, our trusted ship for the trip.

Above - Tropical Maldivian Island - Ahhh the serenity.

Above - Drying out the day's fishing catch. Maldivian island community living.

Above - Small left grinds through unridden at Gurus.

Above - Perfect Right reeling down the line at 'Machines'. The exposed reef showing just how shallow it got at some of these places.

Above - Island women husking and grinding the coconuts. The distinct works carried out by the men and women is a classic example of community life on the islands, every one has a role to play.

Above - Early morning departure from one of our lagoon stop-overs, sunrise providing an idyllic silhouette to a tranquil little island .

Above - NS hunting the barrel on this one at 'Machines'.

Above - Tony Druit slotted very deep at 'Machines'. The reef under these was only about 2 foot below so there were plenty of cuts and scrapes.

Above - NS slotted and loving life right about now.

I've just been instructed by FS, "People don't want to see more pictures of surfing, you did that last year". Sorry sweetcheeks, but this year's sessions in the Maldives were even better than last year and it's not likely I'll be able to scramble another selfish trip like this for some time, so even though they might be mundane to some, i know others will appreciate these perfect waves, and at the least, i know I'll love reflecting on these in time to come.

Since indulging myself last year, i had only had the one ordinary surf in Dubai during a strong shamal that threw some waves up on Jumeriah beach. Besides this i had been relegated to 'mind-surfing' the sand dunes during my daily travels to Dubai and Abu Dhabi, picturing myself carving along the sand waves that run the hundreds of kilometres, but of course there is no substitute for the real thing and come June this year i was adamant that i had to get away from the scorching desert dunes and mayhem that we call work. So, with a thousand blessings from her Highness i was able to luck myself into getting a week or so away and booked the Kethi boat to charter our way through the southern atolls of the Maldives. Along for the trip this year was Ant Druit, Chel, a Portuguese fella and a couple of Germans.

There was no wasting time, once all aboard we headed straight to the Sth Male atoll and scored Gurus at about 3 foot, offshore and reeling some fast lines down the reef pass. It was less than half an hour in to the first session that i pulled through the back of a smaller wave only to get sucked back over to the reef. I protected myself from the corals by impaling my head into my board, the thump shattering my teeth together, biting my tongue and slicing my head open for a nasty little gash. My white rashie was blood soaked and with a throbing headache i paddled back to the boat cursing that my trip may already be over. At first, the Maldivian crew wanted to stitch it up with their fishing lines, flashing me a toothless grin which said, "i dare you". I opted for the German who qualified himself as the best medico on the trip because his mother used to be a school nurse? Luckily genetics had already ensured we didn't need to shave too much of my hair to clean the flaps of skin hanging from my head, and a few swabs of disinfectant and water proof bandages later, i was feeling right as could be and assured that this wouldn't halt my trip.

Day 2 we sailed away from the sth Male atoll and chugged our way to Neemu. The 6 hour trip providing some welcome relief to the beginnings of sore shoulders but mostly my noggin'. We arrived late afternoon to find a nice swell hitting the Malu reef. I rested my head and chose to sit in the dingy with the camera while the guys caught the outside bombs that were pulsing through. The swell was looking promising to really turn on for the next day.

Day 3, the Kethi crew had us heading out of our overnight sanctuary in the lagoon and soon we were chugging our way through the channel, heaving over the clean lines of the predicted new swell. Outside Muhli was on fire, 4-5 foot pumping right-handers reeling down the reef. The cobwebs began to fall away after so many months without surfing, and the flowing lines were just right for cracking multiple off the top carves and cutties. I'd surfed here the year before and felt comfortable with the reef positions and take off zones. A couple of 3 hour sessions, and whilst the body was barely standing up to the rigours of so much surfing, i couldn't have felt better.

The crew on the Kethi was a bunch of low key, young Maldivian guys who went out of their way to make everything perfect for us while on board. Whether this meant the pancakes and coffee after a morning surf, having the fishing lines ready after our midday surf or the icy Tiger beers ready to go after our afternoon sessions, these unassuming guys were par-excellence!

Day 4, a little morning sickness had crept into the waves, so we waited for things to clean up by jumping overboard for some snorkeling. We were snorkeling above the very reefs where we would be/had been surfing. Whilst the sun is scorching and will fry you in 10 minutes here, the water temps are perfect for long sessions in just boardies and a rashie. I've found that whilst the waves in the Maldives are less critical than say Indonesia, the fact that we have not and will not see another surfer for the 10 days of our trip, and the variety of speed runs, barrels, and open faces still provide everything that a dream-time surf trip should. We score a new wave breaking on inside Muhli for the late session. It is ultra shallow and fast, but it gives us enough stories of bravado and stoke to tell over a few beers later that evening.

Day 5, a quick 1 hour session turns into another 3 hour marathon, but the corners of our grins are touching our ears. Inside Muhli, a rarely breaking wave had been cranking for 2 days now, and today's 4 foot session was a blast for all the guys. We end up cranking the diesel engines of the Kethi later in the day to take our chances that the swell is reaching even further south, so the 7 hour trip again brings some welcome relief to the cracked skin on our ribs and insanely sore shoulders. My head wound by the way is coming along nicely too. We bypass the Thaa atoll on our way and are not disappointed when we finally reach the Lamuu atoll. It seems impossible that it could happen, but the waves just keep getting better the further south into remoteness that we travel. We're hardly even seeing fishing boats now and we've just come to a section of the atoll with a heavy unrideable left on one side and an all time right on the other side, named by one of the Germans as 'Machines', actually the true name of this break is called Tsunamis . Sitting just off the Maanbidhoo island, a cocos palm filled island with white sandy beaches surrounding it, Machines was the epitome of perfection as the waves exploded down the shallow reef. After a quick 2 hour session in the setting sun, we were finally scoring some genuine barrels. That evening we sat on the deck of the Kethi, drinking Rum like all good pirates do and exaggerating the stories of our waves ridden.

The next 3 days we moored our boat off Machines and surfed at least 3 times a day. The nights we slept on the roof of the Kethi, as with not a breath of wind and no a/c, the cabins were too stifling. Between surfs we simply read, slept and stretched. I bloke one board surfing Machines ans some of the guys coped some reef grazes, broken fins and leggies.

Days 8 and 9 we had decided to travel even further south and found a fun wave called Ying Yang
where we spent countless hours surfing, in my case scared of the fact that it may be the last surf for a long time. Funny thing or perhaps not to my masculine side, on the flight back to UAE, the Emirates airline staff commented to Chel and myself that we must be the only non-honeymooners on the flight, to which we jokingly replied that we had in fact just had a gay marriage. An hour later the chief steward came to us with congratulations and bottle of Moet!

Burning the candle from both ends!!

Above - Wadi Damm, Oman.

Above - FS towing B3 through the Wadi pools in Oman.

Above - B3 and NS launching into the deep spring pools at Wadi Damm, Oman. This was a pretty gnarly jump for little Arch, but he just nonchalantly climbed up with me and counted me down from 3.

Above - B4 and NS, scalding our feet on the burning rock platforms. The white stripes are quartz of some sort that looked really nice running their veins through the black rock.

Above - Rachael "are you a runner too?" Rice mountaineering through the scrambling rocks at Wadi Damm, Oman.

Above - Wadi Damm threw so many surprises with caves and pools around every corner.

Above - B2 falling from the skys into the deep spring pools of crystal clear water.

Above - B1 finds another rock pool in Wadi Damm, Oman.

Above - Another waterfall and cave with late afternoon light glittering through. Wadi Damm, Oman.

Above - Red Bull Air Race, Abu Dhabi Corniche'. B2 and B1.

Above - Abu Dhabi Corniche Beach

Above - Abu Dhabi Red Bull Air Race, amazing how close the fly to the beach front. A lack of regulations in the UAE makes this event one of the best to watch from a spectator perspective.

Above - B2 and NS, just in case we forgot where we were.

Above - Seems our front door is a popular spot for having silly photos taken. FS and Lorraine heading out...to a rodeo given FS's hat?

Above - Heading out, again. Lorraine, FS and Karla.

Above - Burnt out from everything, B4 and B1 catching some Zzz's.

Above - Treated like a man-slave, i was dressed down to a loin cloth, had oil smeared all over and a pair of white gloves so as not to smudge the glass wear. My sole responsibility - make sure the girls never had an empty cocktail glass. Lorraine, Karla, FS and Allison.

Above - Sk8 or Die!! Max, B1, B2 and B3.

Above - Get all dolled up and attend the Hilton Pool Party, Have a few drinks and then jump into a tiny inflatable boat in the pool. How did they think this was going to end?? FS and Lorraine, pre-turnover and having to get dry next to the sharwarma stand.

Above - Karla, FS, B2 at the Atlantis Water Park, Dubai.

Trashed, wiped out and thoroughly exhausted from the month of April. My throat's sore, head ache pounding, on the verge of a fever, the aches and pains of a flu (no swine kissing being going on here, so not the Mexican Flu) are creeping through my joints, I'm behind in my work, emails haven't been answered, the grass in the back yard is a foot high (note -must get the gardener on to this), my hair looks like a dread-locked hippy (well, 3 of the remaining strands are tangled), in summary, it's been a big month just gone.

FS has taken up running in the last 2 months and has gone from being able to jog/walk/crawl for 20 minutes to jogging for 90minutes and somehow managing to have full discussions the whole way. Coming home from a long run, she asks for a shoulder rub, then after a few weeks i finally realise this is because she's jogging the entire time with her head to the left talking to Rachel. They run a few times a week and late at night to avoid the heat of the day (it's hitting 40c every day now and only getting hotter). The objective is to be able to run a half marathon in June in under 2.5 hours!!

Parties seem to have been high on the agenda for April too. The girls heading out to the Hilton hotel pool party. Lorraine 'let's have tequila shots' West, led the way, even when her and FS ended up in the inflatable before being overturned by a couple of over-zealous party goers. All dolled up, dripping wet and left standing next to a rotisserie.

The local football (soccer)league team, strangely enough called Al Ain, won both the Etislat Cup and the President's Cup, which was great news for our mate Mick, who is the Trainer for the team. Currently sitting in 3rd for the League Cup, they probably won't win that this year, but a great effort to the fittest team in the world. I've passed a few of my tips through the year, falling back on my heh day as coach of the Strikers under 5,6, and 7 teams.

A couple more farewells, of note was the cheerio to Gary 'Bushy' and Suzanne 'Matilda' Bluff. These guys have been here for over 16 years and were really good to me when i first lobbed up in Al Ain, having me over for a couple of BBQs and keeping me up to date with the Hash House Harrier runs. A couple of others also have finished up and a quiet farewell drink always ends up a little off-balance. A couple of birthday parties and the month was rounded out with the Al Ain Rugby Club Ball. Otherwise known as Al Ain's night of nights (AA is a quiet little backwater), this year's Ball was great too. FS was unstoppable on the dance floor, others were less than graceful on the bucking bronco, but provided plenty of laughs after a few pints.

FS had another D.Q. moment. We took her to the opthamologist for a routine procedure on her eye. Immediately after we're sitting in the doctors room whilst he wrote a prescription. FS then drops from the chair and proceeded to collapse onto the floor, went into a massive convulsion, stopped breathing and looked like a ripe blueberry. Of course the doctor's response didn't fill me with a great deal of confidence as i held her in my arms..."ooh, oh, what's happened, what's this, what do i do??" he spluttered...The next 90-120 seconds were an adrenalin fueled rant, culminating in me having to start some compressions and breathing...before FS finally came back and was eventually rushed down to emergency. The story goes on, but not here, all i can say is that it was really scary, and her D.Q crown remains firmly in place.

We missed out on the cricket games between Australia and Pakistan, moved to the UAE as the Aussies refused to play in Pakistan for safety reasons; but managed to get to Abu Dhabi to watch the Red Bull Air Race, which was fantastic. The stage was the Corniche near the Abu Dhabi Marina, apparently the best event of it's series for spectators because the local authorities allow you to get so close. FS took B2 to see a remake of the production of Annie on stage. FS and the kids also headed up to the Atlantis hotel to have a go at the Aquventure Water Park and a couple of days at the beach before the sand gets too hot.

Without a doubt, the highlight of the month was a day trip we made into Oman. About 2 hours drive into the middle of nowhere, through the Mezyad border gates and after throwing a left after the town of Ibri, drive past several old forts atop the vantage points of small hills, where only the ruins are left, past the honeycomb tombs near Al Ayn, then turn right onto a small 4x4 track for a few hundred metres. This is the opening to a very large mountainous gorge. After a short trek we came across a small dammed section not overly impressive in itself, but the valley spiralled way up into the mountains to 'Allah knows where'. We continued clambering over the rock shelves and around a couple of the bends in the track before shortly coming across a crystal clear water hole with a small water fall cascading down into it. It had the instant feel of a bottled water commercial and over the course of the day we continued to trek our way though the beginnings of the valley, wading at times through pristine cool water and even crouching and wading through caves and up water falls. The area was completely isolated, with 100m shear cliffs either side and only about 40m across from edge to edge. The water was so clear, only intensifying in its colour the deeper it ran through different pools. It was a 42c day and the rocks were steaming hot, making the pools even more appealing. Also fascinating was the amount of fish (albeit very small), cat fish, silver coloured and even some yellowed coloured ones. The kids came across a couple of small snakes. The smaller kids loved sliding down the slippery rock waterfalls and into small pools and the big kids were hunting the deep pools with big rock-offs. Wadi Damm, was with out fail, the most attractive area we have come across since living over here, and we've arranged with a couple of others to go back for weekend camping in the coming weeks.

At the other end of the candle, I've been flat out with work, the 6 day weeks and long hours have exhausted alot of my enthusiasm for it and driving everyday to Dubai and Abu Dhabi has become a bit of a grind also. I may have mentioned it before, that most of the management of the company i second myself to are living here without their families, so they pour themselves into their work and literally have no balance at all, of course they can't understand why i don't work 18 hours every day.

So, as i shake off the baggy eyes and lethargy, i find the candle has burnt away the wax and I'm announcing that the month of May is going to be a quiet, on the wagon, resting month and more moderated hours....I am no sooner thrown the calender and find FS has the family down for a Dowh boat trip in Dibba, Hosting a dinner with half of the village coming, Camping weekend back at Wadi Damm, weekend away at Fujeriah, 20/20 cricket in Dubai, my work calender has too many tenders due, 500 staff who don't know one end of a shovel from another, site engineers who have degrees in agriculture (animal husbandry i later find out - not landscape) and trying to manage AED400M worth of landscape with a financial controller who doesn't want to spend a single dirham and haven't paid their workers in over 2 months!!!! I'm so glad to have my own little business here when stuff like that happens. At least i can pay myself, whereas these other buggers are fretting constantly.

Ahh yes, the desert summer has arrived, everything is how it always is in the UAE...full of madness.

You know you've been in the Middle East too long if..

Above - Local Police in Abu Dhabi patrolling beach front along Corniche'.

Above - Gold leafed coated BMW X6. Known back in Oz as a Wanker. Over here, just another 17 year old local in his new car.

The list below is from a site forward to me from a friend. It is so spot-on when it comes to identifying some of the peculiarities of living in the UAE/Middle East, it was worth re-printing here just a reminder.

You know you've been living in the M.E too long If…….

* You are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat.

* You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative.

* You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah"

* You do not expect to eat dinner before 10:30 pm

* You need a jumper when it's 28c outside.

* Your ideal vacation is anywhere you can eat pork.

* Your idea of housework is leaving a list for he maid.

* You believe the speed limits are only advisory.

* You have no problem with tractors driving 40 kph on the highway.

* You think all police drive BMWs and Mercedes Benz'.

* You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iran.

* You get excited and spread the news when "Weetbix" show up at the grocery store.

* You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign.

* You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first.

* You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green.

* You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks.

* You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn.

* You can receive ever TV station crystal clear except the local one.

* You get used to using the cold tap to get hot water during the summer.

* You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought.

* You expect gold for every birthday.

* You drive out of the Emirates and into Oman to get cheaper gas even though gas costs nothing.

* You get in heated arguments about your favourite Sheiks, Emir or King.

* You think Pepsi begins with a "B".

* You think it is perfectly normal that your neighbour has 2 Ferrari's and a Hummer and never works.

* You did the calculations and you could have that Ferrari except your water bill from your garden, yard, just got raised again.

* You think that a box of Kleenex belongs on every dinner table.

* You think water only comes in bottles.

* You understand that when someone says "burka, insha'allah" to you it really means "sometime during this calendar year…if you are lucky.

* You feel comfortable overtaking a police car at 160km/hour in a 100km/h section, while talking on your mobile and resting your foot on the dash board.

* You take 2 shorts to work during summer, knowing both will be soaking in sweat just walking from your car to the office.

* You can stand you ground when a local pushes directly to the front of any queue.

Walk Like an Egyptian

Above - B2 gets straight to the point of things.

Above - Delton and B1 touring the Sphinx and pyramids.

Above - Where are we???

Above - Local ol' timer looking for some tourist dollars for a horse ride near pyramids.

Above - Ancient ruins and flocking tourists.

Above - Whilst Cairo is a bit of a decrepit city, it's amazing how the ancient pyramids are mingled so closely to the modern bustling city.

Above - One of the 'Grandsons' pyramids in Cairo.

Above - FS, conducting a building report of the pyramids to ensure their safety and durability.

Above - B2, getting ready to lug a couple more stone blocks into place.

Above - B1&2

Above - Hieroglyphics

Above - The U/10 Tournament Runner Ups.

Above - The U/12 Tournament Champions.

Above - Seems all the Middle Eastern dancers have a great set of...matching dress and head-band. Entertainment whilst cruising along the River Nile.

Above - B1 Egyptian bazaar shopping.

Above - Have back-pack, will travel. FS enjoying the sites of Cairo.

Above - Not the sports cars of Dubai; Egypt has a lot of traditional transport still going on.

Above - FS loving seeing the pyramids. Here in Cairo.

Above - Footy tour of pyramids. Jnr, B1, Cosimo, Delton, Zeno, B2 & Jerry.

Above - Back in the UAE. A sample of the contradiction. Road works occurring, even though the speed limit is 100, the radar is set to 120.

Above - Had a good laugh whilst flicking through the classifieds the other day. These sorts of adverts probably exist everywhere, but it was a great laugh to find an entire page of brothers and families looking for suitable Grooms for their sisters or daughters.

Fresh off listening to 'Walk Like an Egyptian' from her 1986 summer hits album, (yes, she really does need to update her CD collection) FS decided she'd been here long enough in the Middle East and it was time to head off to Egypt and check out the pyramids. It was a convenient link that B1&2 had an upcoming rugby tour of Cairo, so by the time we drew the straws as to who was going, it was me who was staying back in the UAE to lead a 3 day game of pirates with B3&4 and FS was boarding an Emirates flight headed for Egypt, camera, spending money, rugby boots and mouth guards in tow and chaperoning a couple of other kids along the way too.

Now it really should have been FS who composed this blog, but she's sleeping in again today and insisted that something be done before she was awake, (it would seem the Cleopatra influence rubbed off whilst in the land of the pharaohs!), so it is likely that any links I make to Egypt will be full of inaccuracies and at best, gross exaggerations of the truth.

The first evening was spent sailing down the River Nile aboard a large 2 story vessel. With the back drop of the neon advertising lights shimmering off the Nile's surface, and whilst looking for baby Moses floating down stream in a reed basket, FS's attention was brought back to the boat when the highly popular Egyptian entertainment of Mickey Mouse entered the room to perform for the tourists!! What a cultural delight indeed. A bit bewildered and not quite seeing the connection, FS dragged the boys upstairs to where an exotic belly dancer was performing followed by a 'real' traditional dancing troupe of plate spinners and dress spinners, back on track at least now and a bit more confident that they were in the right country.

The next day was spent with B1&2 playing in the Cairo Rugby Tournament, played in the grounds of the Mariot hotel. Al Ain gave a great show, with the under 14's and 12's both winning their age groups and the Under 10's coming a respectable runners up. B1 took out the Player of the tournament award for the under 12's and B2 who'd been sick in bed the week leading into the tour was also a notable standout with ball in hand in the U/10's. A month before heading to Cairo, Egypt was rocked with a terrorist attack killing 1 and injuring several others, so a couple of the teams did not make the trip, which was unfortunate for the lads from Cairo. Whilst there are plenty of expatriates through the middle east region, some of the teams from Kuwait, Egypt and Bahrain, really only get to play other teams at these big tournaments, so lots of travelling is part of it, as such it's always nice to talk to other expats about their adventures, travels, experiences and recommendations.

Day three, FS and the boys headed over the Nile to Giza and the pyramids which lay almost within the city bounds. A notable distinction from the UAE, was the cars, nothing younger than 15 years old and loads of people still travelling around by donkey and cart. The poverty is really noticeable also, with loads of beggars and rubbish. The housing was interesting, most buildings never completed, simply the rio bars pointing towards the sky in readiness for the next family expansion and addition of another level to accommodate. A lot of the buildings appearing to be built using basic lean-to methods and few looking structurally sound; a stark contrast to their Egyptian ancestors who built the pyramids!

FS and the boys were blown away by the pyramids and their awe inspiring size and structure. The size of each of the stones, only magnifying the universal question, "how did they build these, and move the stones?" FS was amazed that the pyramids were literally on the skirts of the city, expecting they would have been away in the desert somewhere. B2 was fascinated how at only certain times of the year, the sun would light up the 'true' entrance door to each of the pyramids and also how each of the pyramids had false entrances. Both the boys were a little over-come by the amount of beggars and hagglers around the pyramids, but none of our troupe had any negative experiences by this. As a parent, it's good for your kids to realise that not everyone falls into the haves category, and that there is an unfortunate imbalance in the amount of have-nots in the world, Egypt with more than their fair share of these. Another history making note, was that FS had no troubles on the plane trip, no hostage situations, no emergency landings, not even a sick bag in sight, so it would seem we are slowly getting the hang flying.

Back in the UAE, the weather is heating up and we've had a couple of really severe sand storms, causing loads of damage through the area. The realisation of the impending summer is a little scary after enjoying the perfect winter weather, and whilst we're still no closer to deciding on an imminent departure for good, we're at least entertaining the idea of taking a month off in summer to travel somewhere else and experience a little taste of a new part of the world, which of course is also exciting to even think about.